YOU SHOULDN’T SAY “BRIDEZILLA”

I, for one, HATE the term ‘bridezilla’. When I started telling people that I wanted to be a wedding planner, more often than not, the first remark out of their mouths was something to the effect of “Do you really want to deal with bridezillas?”

Not yet fully understanding the nastiness behind the term “bridezilla”, I responded with a pretty simple answer: yes.

Do you know where the term bridezilla came from? Yes, okay, Godzilla had something to do with it. The word was actually created by wedding professionals when they had to deal with a bride who was a handful and was somewhat obnoxious to work with. As more people started to use bridezilla, its meaning began to grow – not just the brides who were hard to work with, but the cruel ones who forced all their bridal party to have the same haircut, who cried when their dessert menu didn’t include their favorite cheesecake with strawberries, but instead, gasp, RASPBERRIES, and the ones who became an absolute nightmare. And so Bridezilla became even nastier. Don’t get me wrong, if I were to encounter someone who was cruel to the people she “loved” I would probably also be calling her out, and I feel bridezilla is a totally justified term in this case.

But right now, if you check out Urban Dictionary, you will see the definition given for bridezilla is:
One ridiculous spoiled bitch that thinks she is the center of the universe, just because her “show” (the wedding) is 18 months from now. Everyone else in the world has to drop everything and come running in this prima-donna’s mind. The marriage will not last more than a couple of years, if the groom-to-be is lucky.

However, that’s not how we typically use the word; we, as a society, just throw the term ‘bridezilla’ around, often with regard to ALL future brides who just want their day to be, well, their day. The vendors I’ve worked with who have referred to a bride as a bridezilla are typically referring to someone who is within their reasonable right to ask questions about the service they’re receiving, who is particular about the centerpieces she so meticulously planned out, and who is under so much stress to make her wedding perfection that she cries when a silly little thing goes wrong. I’ve been there, crying over silly things, and I can tell you: I KNEW it was silly and I wished I could have stopped myself, but the crying was completely involuntary.

I have worked with many of these women and when you’re working with one, there are a few things I can tell you about her:

1. She is dealing with incredible stress because of pressure to plan this big production to show herself and her new spouse off to her closest friends and family. In some situations, this bride would have preferred to elope, but social and familiar pressure have forced her to have this party.
2. She is spending thousands of dollars (whether the money is hers, her fiance’s, or someone else’s) and she wants to make sure she’s getting what she has paid for. Money is valuable (biggest redundancy ever) and it’s even more so for a couple who are considering their future and what they will do together, from having children to traveling the globe to buying a house.
3. She has to deal with more moving parts than she’s ever had to deal with before. Some of these women choose to hire someone (like me!) to help them manage this, but even then, it’s a lot of work when you haven’t done it before.
4. She is being pulled in a thousand directions, and everyone wants to have their input on her wedding day. There are only two people whose input should even be considered for a wedding – and that’s the bride and her beau.

Next time you think about using the term bridezilla, I urge you to do a mental check and ask “Is she being unreasonable?” and unless she’s yelling at someone or being cruel, she’s likely just a bride.